Home > Anger

Submenu :-
Causes | Assertive Response to Anger | Assertiveness | Communication | Anger Management

ANGER, STRESS AND COPING WITH PROVOCATION

Among the many feelings that we experience, anger is one of the most complex and confusing. Anger is a powerful emotion - it gets people’s attention and it can mobilise us to deal with problem situations. On the other hand, anger can be a disruptive and destructive force in its effects on ourselves and others. Because anger can have harmful effects, we must learn how to manage this emotion and the thoughts and behaviours connected with it.

WHAT IS ANGER?

Anger is a feeling, an emotion. It is different from aggression, which is an action that is intended to cause injury, harm, or damage. Being angry is not the same as being aggressive or violent. Anger can lead to aggression, but feelings are different from actions. When you become angry, you lose your patience, push up your blood pressure, and want to act on impulse. Sometimes you will say or do things that you later regret. But becoming angry can also give you strength, determination, and even satisfaction. It can keep you going when things get tough.
Therefore, anger can have good as well as bad effects.

In learning how to regulate anger, you must learn how to minimise the negative effects and to maximise the positive ones. To understand this better, there are some useful things to know about the functions of anger - that is, the ways in which it affects our behaviour.

At some point in your life, someone probably told you to control your anger. You may have wondered, when you were given this advice, how you were supposed to do that. One age-old suggestion is to hold your breath and count to ten. But this can be a little like putting a lid on a pot of boiling water. It makes much more sense to turn the heat down or to take the pot off the fire. Anger management does not mean suppressing your anger, keeping a tight lid on it. Nor does it mean denying that you are angry, pretending that it does not exist, and avoiding the problem or situation that has triggered you to become angry. What it does mean is knowing how to prevent and regulate anger. It means learning how to not get angry in the first place and how to keep it at moderate levels of intensity when it is aroused. Most importantly, it means knowing how to take constructive action to resolve problems and conflicts.

In order to control and regulate anger, you must first understand it. The more that you know about your own anger, the easier it will be to control it. The information here is designed to teach you some important things about anger, to help you understand your personal anger patterns, and to present a number of effective strategies or coping skills for dealing with anger problems. No matter how troublesome your problems with anger have been, you can learn how to “defuse” anger reactions and thereby improve your health, your job performance, and your personal relationships.

	Anger is an energiser. It can give us strength and determination, mobilising the body’s resources for self-defence

Positive Functions of Anger

It is an energiser. It can give us strength and determination, mobilising the body’s resources for self-defence and providing stamina for dealing with difficult circumstances. It can help us deal with conflict by providing fuel for the fight.

Anger is a signal or cue. It tells us something about us, other people and situations. It can be a sign that something unjust, abusive, or threatening is happening. In this sense, it can serve as a cue that it is time to use stress coping skills.

Anger can also be a way to express tension and to communicate negative feelings to others. Sometimes things stay bottled-up until we get angry. The constructive expression of anger is an important way to resolve conflict especially in one’s personal relationships. The arousal of anger also creates a potential feeling of control. It can create a sense of being in charge of a situation.

Anger can help us feel like we are taking control of a problem. However, this does not necessarily mean that we are doing something to resolve the problem.

Negative Functions of Anger

Anger can have a disruptive effect on our thoughts and behaviour. It interferes with our ability to think clearly and inclines us to act on impulse without good judgement. If you do something because you are angry, it is often something that you later regret.

Sometimes anger is used like a defensive barrier. When we get hurt or embarrassed, we can get angry as a way to protect our pride. Anger is an externalising force - it says “There’s nothing wrong with me; the problem is you, not me.” We sometimes get angry to keep from feeling hurt. There is a connection between anger and aggression. Anger can instigate or lead to aggression. When we become angry, the emotional force can drive us to act out our feelings, as if to discharge or release them. We can get angry and then try to take it out on someone or something.

Becoming angry is sometimes a way to promote an impression or image of ourselves to others. It can be a kind of social role. At times, we show our anger because we want others to see us in a certain way. Demonstrating anger becomes a way of building a social identity or reputation. You can see that anger has many effects on how we think and how we act. It is very important to remember the difference between anger and aggression. Anger is a feeling to which you are usually entitled.

Aggression is an action that causes harm. Being upset is one thing; hurting someone is a different matter. Anger need not result in aggression or doing harm to someone. When you learn how to express anger constructively, it can lead to positive, beneficial outcomes. On the other hand, anger can be a disturbing force. It is physically upsetting. It involves a strong physiological arousal; when prolonged or too frequent it can have detrimental effects on your health. Besides being an antagonistic reaction that can lead to harmful actions, anger interferes with your ability to deal with difficult situations. In many situations, anger not only is unproductive, it can be your worst enemy. Anger often amounts to a self-imposed handicap.

	Because anger does have some positive aspects, you might not always recognise when it has become a problem for you

When is Anger a Problem?

When it is too frequent.
Some things would make anybody angry, but when routine situations and minor things are making you angry, it’s probably happening too often. Sometimes it is very understandable that you get angry. For example, if someone were to steal or damage something that you worked hard to get or if someone were to abuse or mistreat a person whom you loved, anger is normal and appropriate. However, there are many times when you get angry when it is not necessary, appropriate or useful - for example when things don’t go exactly as you’d like or when you jump to conclusions about another person.

High levels of anger are also a stress on the body.
During anger, your blood pressure rises, the heart beats faster, blood sugar increases and muscles become more tense. Anger mobilises the body. But when this mobilisation serves no physical purpose, it causes unnecessary wear and tear on the system. This is especially true if anger occurs frequently and at high intensity.

When it lasts too long.
The duration of anger can also be a problem. When you make too much of something and relive it over and over in your mind, anger interferes with your work and your enjoyment of life. It also then becomes easier to get angry all over again when something else goes wrong.
When your anger is prolonged, your body’s systems are prevented from returning to normal levels, thus continuing to cause wear and tear. The main way that anger is prolonged is that you remind yourself about the things that upset you. By continuing to dwell on negative experiences, repeating them in your mind, you remain aggravated. Your memories, your attention, and the things that you say to yourself have a lot to do with how long you stay angry, once you do get angry.

When it leads to aggression.
As you well know, aggressive acts get you in trouble, in addition to hurting someone else. When you feel abused or treated unfairly, you might want to lash out at the person who offended you. Anger, particularly when it is intense, pulls for an aggressive response. Your muscles become tense, the volume of your voice becomes louder, and you do things like clench your fists and stare sharply. During these moments there is a tendency to act on impulse. That is, you might pop-off before you think of the consequences to others and to yourself.

Wanting to clobber somebody and actually doing it are two different things. But sometimes you might jump all over someone who has offended you because it is the only way you know how to act. Verbal aggression, like calling someone nasty names, and physical aggression, like punching, smacking or pushing are ineffective ways of dealing with conflict. They hurt other people and have a way of backfiring on you.

Summary:

Problem Characteristics of Anger

Anger is a problem when it is too frequent, when it is too intense, when it lasts too long, and when it leads to aggression. These aspects of anger are problematic because of the harmful effects they have.

When anger interferes with doing a good job or makes it hard for people to relate to us, then it starts to have a high cost. It can prevent you from concentrating on your work, cause you to make mistakes, and keep you from being satisfied with your job. Anger pushes people away and makes it difficult for them to like you. Anger is the opposite of appreciation. When it is repeatedly directed at your family and friends, it not only hurts those whom you love, it reduces their interest in being supportive of you.

In addition to these bad effects on your personal relationships and your work performance, anger has harmful effects on your health. Because it involves the activation of many physical arousal systems, anger causes strain on your body. Recent scientific studies have found that recurrent anger contributes to a number of serious illnesses, including heart disease and hypertension.

Goals.

At this point you might be wondering if learning how to control your anger means that the aim of this program is to make you into a wimp, a softie or a pushover. There is nothing further from the truth. The approach to anger control described in this manual is aimed at making you more effective, not less effective.

Don’t confuse anger with getting things done. Anger is often misused as a way to solve problems. We seem to think that if we shout loud enough, then the other person will do what we want. Anger is an easy way to assert ourselves, trying to take charge of a situation.

Anger management does not mean bottling it up with a tight lid. It does not mean making believe nothing is bothering you, nor does it mean being anybody’s patsy or punching bag. What it does mean is several important things:

· Learning how to not get angry when it is self-defeating

· Keeping anger at moderate levels of intensity when it does occur

· Expressing anger constructively towards others

· Using effective problem-solving strategies to change problem situations.

You can be composed, direct, and firm without your anger being out of control. This will enable you to be better in dealing with situations that cause anger. Having the ability to control your anger means that you will be more powerful, and more in control.

See Anger Management

Submenu :-
Causes | Assertive Response to Anger | Assertiveness | Communication | Anger Management

ˆ top

www.cragface.co.uk

All the information you need to help you stop panicking and start living,
with the help of this free website