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Causes | Assertive Response to Anger | Assertiveness | Communication | Anger Management

This page has been included for the following reasons :-

So that the angry individual can understand how difficult it is to be confronted by anger.
So that they can be aware that intervention can be positive.
To allow the partner/friends, access to useful information which will be beneficial to both parties.

SOME ASSERTIVE METHODS OF RESPONDING TO OTHERS’ ANGER

· Listen to the other person and hear what they have to say.
· Check whether you are the right person for them to be talking to, being careful not to just pass the buck.
· Acknowledge their right to be angry with you or with something that has happened.
· Find somewhere comfortable and preferably private to discuss it and invite them to sit down where possible, sitting down with them.
· Know where you can get help if this is going to be needed.
· Try to help them to identify exactly what they are angry about.
· Give them time to think.
· Hold or restrain them firmly but not violently if this becomes necessary.
· Facilitate the person to decide what they want to do about it.
· Offer whatever you are prepared to do about it.
· Apologise if you have been at fault.
· Encourage the expression of feelings, rather than try to shut them up or calm them down, before they have really let go of themselves.
· Offer or arrange counselling if the problem is of greater depth than can be dealt with at the time.
· Understand that there could be all sorts of reasons why someone is angry, and they themselves may not be clear. Try to be perceptive about what is going on with them to help them to discuss it with you.
· Let the person leave when they wish unless this is unsafe, offer the chance to come back and discuss it.
· Remain aware of your body language - tiny nuances of any aggression you feel will slip out and could be picked up and interpreted, e.g. sharp glance, tight jaw, raised voice, sarcasm or patronising tone of voice.
· Above all; try to treat the person as an equal, respecting their individual rights and their freedom to be angry.
· Communicate that you are listening and that you are trying to understand how they feel.
· Assertive behaviour tends to enable people to feel calmer and understood. As the person feels listened to, and acknowledged, they feel respected and valued. If there is a sense of equality, then the person tends to respond equally assertively. If someone persists in behaving aggressively, all you can do is be as assertive as possible - you cannot change them, only be aware of how you are behaving, and the effect that might be having on them.

Submenu :-
Causes | Assertive Response to Anger | Assertiveness | Communication | Anger Management

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