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| Useful Contacts Where do I go from Here? There are several key things which can help you to manage stress in everyday life. Ask yourself if you do the following:- Enjoy yourself! Spend time doing things you like! Don't take on too much - delegate and learn to say no! Get the worst tasks out of the way first. Set realistic time limits for everything you plan to do (give yourself a little extra time). Recognise and accept your own limits - physical, mental and emotional - don't overload! Organize your time.
Eat a healthy balanced diet, and sit down to eat. When you find yourself fretting, tell yourself to stop and think about something positive. Express yourself - physically and verbally, especially worry, fear, anger, and excitement. Make your environment as comfortable as you can. Don't value yourself by what others might say or think - build up your own self esteem/confidence. Prioritise - lists (in moderation) may be helpful. Give yourself 'time out', treats and holidays.
---oooOooo--- Variety is the Spice of Life This section gives information on some of the many techniques which can
be helpful for stress management. This is not a comprehensive list, as
it's impossible to list all of the alternatives here. A brief explanation
is given for each technique or approach, which may help you decide whether
they are suitable for you. Techniques are listed in alphabetical order.
1. Aromatherapy This treatment uses essential oils extracted from plants or spices, which are most commonly applied by inhalation or massage. Aromatherapy is an ancient medicine, which needs to be administered by a trained practitioner. Each client will be assessed in great detail, taking a 'holistic' approach, so that treatment suits the client. Aromatherapy massage is often used to treat stress related conditions. Or consider using "Bach" Rescue Remedy . 2. Assertiveness Training Often aimed specifically at women, but also available and useful for men. Teaches communication techniques which can alleviate frustration or worry in everyday life. Also examines individual's feelings of self-worth, confidence and rights. Many adult education institutes run classes.
3. Autogenic Training The client is taught, during classes and with regular practice on their own, to control their mental an bodily tensions. A deeply relaxed state is produced by these mental exercises - which are like a form of mental circuit training. The client can programme themselves to react to situations in a more positive way. Very useful for individuals who need to learn to relax.
4. Biofeedback Training A small electronic box is used to monitor specific physiological states which show how relaxed or tense a person is. This is not a painful process! The machine shows you when you are or are not relaxed, and practice will help you to understand your own body enough to be able to relax when you want to.
5. Counselling The aim of counselling is to give the client the opportunity to talk through problems, with a genuine and understanding listener. This may be with a trained counsellor or through co-counselling with a partner. There are many different schools of counselling, so it is worth finding out which will best suit you, by contacting the BAC (see Useful Addresses).
6. Creative Visualisation This is largely a self-help technique, which you can teach yourself, but it can also be done in groups, as another person's guidance and creativity can be extremely helpful. The aim is to relax completely, with eyes closed, and to 'day dream' in a slightly structured way. See the example of a creative visualisation further down the page.
7. Flotation A flotation tank is a bath or pool with about a foot of saline solution, which is kept at body temperature. The tank will be in a sound and light-proofed area. The solution supports the body, so that all the senses and body are relaxed. Sessions vary in length, but you can always get up and leave as soon as you want to! Many people experience a huge sense of relaxation during and after a session, and tests have shown that it can lower your blood pressure and reduce stress-related biochemicals in the body.
8. Homeopathy This is often known as 'alternative' medicine, as it works on the basis
that the prescribed drug/substance will not suppress symptoms but rather
stimulate them, so that the body's own defences swing into action. If
you're feeling run-down, over anxious or are suffering from stress-related
symptoms, and you'd prefer a medication treatment, homeopathy may be for
you.
9. Hypnotherapy Despite popular belief, a hypnotherapist cannot make you do anything against your will. Many people are disappointed after their first experience, as they expect to fall into a deep sleep and remember nothing. In fact, the key to hypnotherapy is that the client agrees to 'submit' and focus solely on the therapist's words and instructions. As a result, the therapist can guide the client into complete relaxation (into hypnosis) as well as guiding the client into changed behaviour and even changed feelings, simply through suggestions and commands The hypnotic trance allows the therapist's instructions to reach the unconscious mind, which is said to control passions, feelings, instincts and habit. As a result, a re-programming occurs, with the client's agreement, which continues after the sessions. Hypnotherapy is often used for stress. There are many different schools, some of which use 'regression ' techniques, which aim to delve deeper into understanding the cause of the client's behaviour, rather than just re-programming.
10. Massage There are several different massage techniques, including shiatsu, holistic, and reflexology (foot massage), but they all involve working on the muscles, skin and soft tissues to release energy and relieve tension held in the body. Some people enjoy a gentle massage, whilst others prefer it to be vigorous. If you don't feel happy about a whole-body massage, you might like to try reflexology instead. Any type of massage is an enjoyable experience, which leaves the client feeling refreshed, invigorated and relaxed. It is an excellent physical stress relief. Check that the practitioner has an ITEC certificate or equivalent.
11. Meditation Meditation has been shown to relieve numerous stress-related problems such as anxiety, insomnia and mild hypertension. There are several different schools of meditation, often linked with different religions, but essentially meditation involves focusing inwards and clearing the mind of all external (and internal!) distractions. This may be achieved by concentrating on an object or, or an idea, or by focusing on the experience of breathing. Teachers will be able to help you meditate and experience the many benefits which come from instructed practice - including a sense of inner calm and self-acceptance.
12. Personal Planning Personal planning for stress management is a process of identifying exactly what sources of tension you have, and what your reactions to them are. Having done this, you then go on to to find ways of cutting down on the stress you experienced and an action plan for dealing with unavoidable stresses in new ways. See Chapter 6 for a brief example.
13. Relaxation Training Relaxation training may involve various techniques including those outlined in this chapter, but a basic part of the process is to train the client to be aware of their own physical tension and learn how to relax. This process can be self-taught or can be guided by a trainer. Relaxation training focuses on different parts of the body, loosening and relaxing the muscles so that with practice you can learn to physically relax by choice. (see relaxation exercises).
14. Yoga Yoga is an ancient self-help technique, which can improve both physical and mental health, aiding fitness, relaxation and a form of meditation. It is important to study with a qualified trainer, as achieving the many physical positions must be done with guidance. Yoga stretches and strengthens the body as well as stimulating the circulation. Exercises are also used to improve breathing techniques, and the combined effect leaves you feeling relaxed, loosened-up and stimulated.
Some Self-Help Exercises Personal Checklist Use this check list regularly, 2 to 3 times a day if possible, in the order set out below. Habitually check how you are feeling at any time, watching tv, working, driving, walking...and when you are tense.
1) Check your body tension Are your shoulders tense? Relax your shoulder muscles. Do the same for your neck and your jaw. Are you frowning? Are you biting your mouth? Relax your facial muscles. Relax your head and scalp. You can do this with any part of the body, but it's easy to do the above without anyone noticing. You can help loosen up the tension by moving the tense body-part around, but focusing your mind on the area and letting it relax is usually enough.
2) Check your posture and comfort Are you straight or slouched? Straighten yourself. How comfortable do you feel? Are you sitting in a twisted position? Are you carrying a weight on one side? Balance and straighten your body, throw your shoulders back and down, and your head up.
3) Check your breathing Straighten yourself up and take a few slow, deep breaths, breathing in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Breath from your diaphragm (below the ribs) not from the chest. Try to clear your mind for one minute and focus on your breathing.
Personal Planning It isn't possible to do a full personal plan here, but this is an example to start you off.
Work through the following questions. You'll have to set aside some time to do this, and you'll need a pen and paper. Answer all of the questions, writing down as many different answers as you can think of. You can do this alone, or with a friend.
Be specific. For example, don't just write down 'work' or 'watching TV'; write down exactly what things at work, or the kind of TV programme that you're thinking of.
1. List all of the people, places and situations that you associate with being tense.
2. List all of the people, places and situations that you associate with being relaxed.
3. Ten or more things you least like doing?
4. Ten or more things you most like doing?
Having written the above lists, and made them specific enough to identify exactly what is good and bad in your life, ask yourself the following questions, and see how you can apply them to each of the items on your lists. Spend some time on this.
For the items of lists 1 & 3, can I do any of the following?
For lists 2 & 4, can I spend more time doing these things that I enjoy? This may require setting aside a time each day, and may need some organisation, but you only live once!
It is also worth looking at your life to see if you are getting enough variety and balance. Does your daily life provide a balance of the following?...
Having carefully worked through the above, you should be able to identify some positive ways in which you can plan to reduce stresses in your life. Some will be long-term plans, others you can start on now!
Self-Hypnosis
Self-hypnosis is surprisingly simple. Don't expect to lose consciousness or black-out and forget everything. Remember that this is simply a technique for complete relaxation. If you make a tape from the instructions, speak slowly, with long pauses after each sentence. Use repetition, and go through each body muscle in turn. Otherwise, memorise the process and silently talk yourself through it. This is a basic outline.
You may choose to insert the creative visualisation script if you like.
Make yourself comfortable - lying down or sitting with legs crossed, eyes closed and no disturbances.
Look up to your eyebrows and keep looking up as far as you can. Close your eyes slowly but keep your eyes looking up. Breathe in through your nose slowly and deeply. Hold. Exhale slowly, letting your eyes relax down, and keeping them closed. Focus on how you are feeling, and continue to take deep, slow breaths. Focus on your breathing. With each intake of breath, imagine that you are breathing in calm, peace and clear energy; with each breath out, your are breathing out all your tension and worries. Imagine this with each breath you take.
Say the word 'relax' in your mind at each out-breath. Let other thoughts and sounds flow over and away from you. Relax.
Now focus on your toes and feet. On an out-breath, let all the tension in your toes and feet flow out through the tips of your toes. Imagine what this looks and feels like. Now focus on your calves and shins. On an out-breath, let all the tension flow down and out through your toes. Slowly work your way up, through each part of your body, right up to your jaw, neck, cheeks, eyes, forehead and scalp. Imagine all the tensions flowing through your toes, fingers or the top of your head.
After this, count down from 10 to 1, slowly. With each number down (again, on an out-breath) see yourself gliding downwards on a long escalator or stairway.
At the bottom, imagine that you are in a place where you feel completely relaxed and happy - A favourite place. Notice the sounds, smells, images and how you feel. Enjoy the feeling of relaxation for as long as you choose.
When you are ready to wake up, count from one to ten, imagining yourself waking and stretching from a deep sleep. Open your eyes on ten.
Creative Visualisation
Creative visualisation is very like day-dreaming, although it is useful to follow a set idea, which you can plan beforehand. This is an example of one sequence, which you can use with the self-hypnosis, or on its own. Go through this slowly, with long pauses between sentences.
Make yourself comfortable - lying or sitting with legs uncrossed, eyes closed and no disturbances.
Take a few slow, deep breaths. Let yourself relax and enjoy the feeling of quiet. Imagine that you are walking through beautiful countryside. Imagine the scene, the sounds and the smells. The weather is just how you most like it. You're feeling wonderful, enjoying your walk, going nowhere in particular, with all the time in the world to enjoy everything around you. As you walk, you come to a stream and a little bridge. You walk on to the bridge and look down into the fresh, clear water. Spend some time enjoying this. When you feel ready to move on, and cross the bridge, imagine that you are leaving behind all your worries and cares and problems. Don't move on until you are ready to do this. On the other side of the bridge, you step down on to beautiful lush green grass. You lie on the grass, and your body and mind are filled with a feeling of perfect peace, calm, happiness, and positive energy. Soak it up and enjoy the feeling. When you're ready to come back to reality, in your own time, remember that you can keep this feeling, or come back to it whenever you like.
Expressing Yourself Expressing ourselves and releasing tension are very important for stress management. I have outlined two basic assertiveness techniques here, but there are many more. If you'd like to learn more, most adult education institutes run classes.
(1) Saying No Much of the tension and anxiety in life is due to the fact that it can be difficult to say no. We often say yes to friends, bosses, colleagues and family, when we don't want to. Failing to say no can result in guilt (for being dishonest), overload (for taking on too much), anger (at being 'taken advantage of') or worry (having taken on something reluctantly, or wondering how to cancel later!) Remember that it is all right for you to set your own limits and say no. Practice makes this easier. You may feel tense at the time, but at least you won't have to go through the above feelings afterwards!
(2) Expressing your feelings It is important, where possible, to say what you feel at the time. If you feel nervous or angry, say so. Often, just saying this at the time relieves the tension and allows you to carry on. Alternatively, if you are feeling a strong emotion, try to get it out of your system physically - e.g. thump a pillow, go for a run, play some sport, shout, etc. Obviously, you can't always do this at the time, and you may need to go off somewhere, or wait until you are at home. But it's very important to get it out somehow!
Relaxation Exercise Learning to relax is an art, it has to be learnt correctly, and with
patience.
Firstly, find a low-key environment. Low light, no noise and no interruptions.
Use a floor, a bed or settee; but you can just as easily do it sitting in a comfortable chair.
Remove all jewellery, including your watch; loosen clothing at the neck and take off your shoes. During the exercise, it is important to concentrate on breathing properly. Use the solar-plexus rather than the chest. This gives a greater intake of oxygen and helps you concentrate. As you breathe in gently, push the stomach muscles out and as you breathe out, let the tummy gently fall.
Practice this first, and make sure you breathe in a normal, slow, natural pace. As you breathe out, imagine all the stresses of the day leaving your body, with your outward breath. Now you are ready to relax and forget the rigours of the day.
1. Tense all the muscles in the body. To do this:-
Point the toes towards your nose. Tense the muscles in your legs, buttocks, arms and chest. Make fists of your hands, pull in your tummy muscles and bring your
shoulders as close to you ears as possible. Now grimace with your face. (To tense facial muscles) Hold this position for at least fifteen (15) seconds, but not longer than thirty (30) seconds. (If you have a heart condition, five or ten seconds will suffice).
2. Now relax the whole body and take that special slow, natural deep breath, pushing out your tummy as you breathe in. Ensure that the whole body has returned to its normal relaxed position; i.e. unclench fists, bring down shoulder, etc...
3. Wait for a moment then concentrate on your feet. Imagine the muscles there relaxing and losing the knotted tension from that area.
4. Wait until your feet feel relaxed and only then do you move up, to the lower legs and the muscles there; but before you do, remember to take a deep natural breath and wait a moment.
5. So, in sequence, you relax at your own pace:-
1. Feet 6. Hands and arms 2. Lower legs 7. Shoulders* 3. Upper legs 8. Neck* 4. Stomach* 9. Facial muscles 5. Chest
* Spend longer on these area should they be of specific problem to you.
Lastly, concentrate on a point at the top of your head, leading an imaginary line down the back of your neck, down to the tip of your spine. Once this area feel comfortably relaxed, take a deep breath and your whole body should be totally relaxed.
To recap It is important to wait until the area feels quite relaxed before taking a deep natural breath and then moving on to the next area. The whole exercise should take at least twenty minutes or even up to an hour. Be patient, it does work, and will help you. If necessary, practice with a partner or friend, and take turns to talk each other through it.
Once you have completed the technique, spend as long as you wish in this comfortable position. In fact, you can use it to fall off to sleep.
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